Ode to a Perp
this was written after we were raped by our sponsor’s sponsor’s husband. (we were going to AA at the time) after we told our “friends” what had happened, much controversy exploded. since he supposedly had more sobriety, everyone believed him rather than us. we lost all our friends and our sponsor. we had missed all the red-flags. we really believed that his interest in us was in helping our sobriety. he was a well-loved member of the AA community and our grand-sponsor’s husband, after all. we actually thought that with his acceptance of us, we would be liked by everyone else…the “in crowd” kind of thing.
Dreaming
I’d hoped you were my friend
Aching
To be love by you
Wanting
To fit in.
Perhaps hearing my silent cries
My need for companionship
You took me in.
Briefly, I thought I was in heaven-
I had finally made it
But knowing my vulnerability
(You picked it up as only perps can do-
as if by radar)
You took advantage.
Once more my heart was torn-
A mighty tug-of-war for only me to see
My soul is crying,
My heart is bleeding,
As one by one you leave me
Desolate and alone
My dream shattering to pieces
For me alone to reconstruct
As you go along with your life
As if nothing unusual occurred.
