80 minutes
it is amazing to me what can be accomplished in one therapy session. we went from despondent and suicidal to more hopeful and not suicidal in one session.
the core issues are still there. we still struggle with the two “new” groups. but i guess we have a bit different perspective now.
we have still been thinking a lot after the therapy session on tuesday. we came to the realization that if they (the group we have been calling perps) are not hurting anyone, that is not really appropriate to call them perps. thoughts and feelings are not actions. so we are calling them “the rageful ones” now. that seems to have and convey a lot less judgement. which is good.
it is still hard to get beyond black and white thinking. in a way it is easier to see it as “they are bad” and “we are good” than it is to see everyone as people with good and bad in them. it is also more confusing…cause if they are bad, that explains why they hurt us. but if they are not bad, why did they hurt us like that? and it brings us to a more equal level with them…i so do not want to relate to them in any way, shape or form.
i have a feeling that all of this in not very coherent…it is just a big mess in our head…and the best we can do is just get it out here…kind of like regurgitating…but it is all still a big mess.
oh well…
another good thing is that we actually got to spend some time with myriad last night…without having to worry about leaving at any certain time…and as we were driving home close to midnight, we realized how much we miss that…hanging out at her house as late as we want…coming home long after dark…
ahhh…it is good to be getting back to our life.
gotta go get ready for therapy now.
