days and nights
since monday the ghost kids have been freaking out. very agitated. for the most part we haven’t been able to get out around them. so we haven’t been able to communicate with anyone. and we weren’t able to go to therapy. they feel safest at home, so they certainly don’t want to leave.
along with their agitation, we have been feeling sad and hopeless and anxious. people want to cut. people want to drink. people want to drug. but even with all those desires, most of us know that those things wouldn’t make us feel any better. in fact, they would make us feel worse. so i guess even in these hard times there is growth and progress. the self-harm crap is losing some of its hold.
these past few days there have been near constant body memories. and a couple of relives. it is frustrating, because the memories aren’t even new memories. but i guess we have to deal with them on yet another level. probably related somehow to the ghost kids.
i don’t know how to deal with all this…except to hold on as best we can.
i’m sorry things are so hard. let us know if there is anything at all we can do. if you can’t do anything else, you could send us a blank email and we would know that you need us.
i’m proud of you for holding up so well and writing this. take care.
Comment by myriad — March 1, 2006 @ 5:59 pm