feeling the wind in our hair
friday and saturday were both really good days. nothing special happened on friday, we were just feeling good. and then on saturday we went with anita and her son and his friend to a pumpkin farm. we got to go in a corn maze. and we had a fresh, warm powdered sugar covered pumpkin donut. we choose pumpkins and got to carve a pumpkin. we will load a picture of it later.
but the good goes away at night and we are left scared and anxious and hurting and people wanting/needing to cut and people thinking about dying. and even right now, during the day, we are feeling that way. it seems to be building. towards what, i don’t know.
lots of times right now we just want to scream.
right now we have this song in our head. over and over
Losing My Religion by REM
Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up
(chorus)
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight, I’m
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
(repeat chorus)
But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream
