indigos journal

we’ve been having more trouble sleeping these last few days.  i don’t know how long it’s gone on…

again this last night we couldn’t sleep.  round about six this morning, i felt an urge I’ve not felt before.  i guess the lack of clothing, especially underwear, finally got to us.  so we did five loads of laundry.

those of you who’ve known us for a while will realize how momentous this is.   it’s not that i dislike laundry per se…i actually find it calming.   but since moving to this building, we’ve really struggled with it.  the laundry room totally freaks us out.  we can barely manage to do laundry here even with someone here helping us.  in the past few years our laundry generally gets done when someone takes pity on us and does it for us.  or invites us to their house to use their machines.

so we are quite impressed with ourselfs.  and proud.  i do not know to what i owe this feat of functionality.  but it was nice to experience.

overall, we are having a hard time right now.  as you’ve no doubt noticed, we haven’t been writing.  five or so weeks ago our therapist told us, out of nowhere, that she was leaving.  for at least six months.  but she may not come back at all.  we’ve been really struggling with our feelings, and the system shut down in regards to communication.  there is alot that was left unsaid on tuesday.  (our last session with her.)

we’ve been swinging between emotions.  anger. sadness. fear. panic. betrayal. excitement. frustration. worry. aloneness. lost. untethered. exhaustion.

no good ending to this entry.  it lives in limbo, like us.