indigos journal

it was mostly a good day.  we’ve been having more of them since we started the new medicine.

and then there is the night.  each night closer to our birthday, the worse it gets.  there is so much programming going off right now.  spinning…confusion…name calling…tons of really tough feelings

it is good that we decided not to keep alcohol in our house.  at this point it would be dangerous.  all the drugs we have are bad enough.  there is a lot of yelling inside…people wanting to get out of ourself by any means necessary.   to escape the pain by any means necessary.  the means are different, depending on the person inside.  and our nightly meds haven’t kicked in enough to make us go to sleep.

supertramp (breakfast in america)  is being soothing. somewhat.  if anyone cares to check out the ones in particular, here you go.

Gone Hollywood

Logical Song

Lord Is It Mine 

and then my itunes crashed.  must be a sign.  gonna try to sleep.

words that are inside our head being broadcast throughout the valley at the very least.

“you are a bad baby”

“you are a bad girl”

“you are a bad boy”

“you are bad.  bad, bad, bad”

people inside are fighting about whether we should lock this entry cause we’re not posed to write about things being bad.  only about things getting better.

some things are better.  the new medcine helps during the day.  but then at evening and night things get real bad.

people feel likes we really bads.  some people wanting to and talkin bout dying.  other people wantin to cut.

stuff inside our head real busy loud spinnin crazy crazy

we shouldnt have a birthday.  we not supposed to have a birthday.

dont know no more words.

dont know what to do

feel so bad crazy crazy