indigos journal

many people know that recently the autistics, who live in a cave near the top of the mountains, were finally given clothes.  at the same time, the enforcers little butterfly girl out of lock-up.  these are big risks, as they are against the rules of the people who created all those people.  (we can’t name them…)  but the enforcers took the risk anyway, with the understanding that butterfly girl would stay on the lookout for the creators (in case they came back like they said they would)  if butterfly girl did see them, she agreed to take back the clothes and go back into lockup.

since then, things have been kinda crazy…especially at night.  we weren’t able to see or hear anything going on inside if we happened to be the one out.  and if we were out, the info about what was going on inside was taken from us.  then we missed two weeks of therapy.

right about the time we finally saw our therapist again,  we were finally somewhat able to see inside.  we had a good session, with the autistics getting plenty of time.

then, afterwards, something else big happened.  the enforcers let the autistics have blankets too.  at first people inside were talking about carving into the rock in the cave so that the autistics could hide the stuff should the creators come back.

but then, after a while, it seemed like the enforcers didn’t care any more.  this leads me to worry.  they have never not cared about the rules.

at the same time, the loudspeakers are ever constant….telling us we’re bad, etc.  and the autistics have been hitting themselves more; probably in response to the loudspeakers.

and then talk of punishment…again the loudspeakers…i can’t even feel the enforcers.  the programming succeeded in punishment, but we can’t talk about it openly.  perhaps someday we will be brave enough to.

in any case, although we have made major structural progress, we feel really bad tonight.  but the self-harm messages have stopped for now; presumably because of the successful punishment.

<sigh>