indigos journal

it’s been forever since we wrote.  we seem to have had a block.  but now it feels like all this heavy dark energy has been gathering inside us and we need to get it out.  we picture it as throwing up thick black gunk.

anyway…

one of the things we decided we wanted to do was write down triggers as we notice them.

so…some things that are triggers for us.

skulls.  (i think mostly human ones) they freak us out everytime and we have to look away really fast.  and we’re left with a panicky feeling in our chest.  i don’t know for sure what it’s about…i could hazard a few guesses…but i’d rather it come up naturally.

going to the bathroom.  we put it off as long as we can.  yes, i know it’s bad for us.  this is worse when we’re in public.  since we were a kid our norm was to hold it all day until we got home.  it’s also worse when we have to shit.  so for many, many years we’ve been extremely constipated.  and now we’ve been brave and started eating yogurt…which “regulates” you.  and now it happens pretty much every day.   and it sucks.  it really sucks.  we know where part of this comes from, but not all.  and when it comes to “#2″, we feel a lot of shame.

little flying things.  flies, gnats, bees, etc.  and for months now we’ve had these teeny tiny moths infesting our apartment.  at times it feels like we’re going to go insane.  literally.  they panic us.  especially the stinging variety.  vague ideas of where this comes from.

cassidy is here, so we are going to stop for now.